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Ralpf (silent "P")
the pet marijuana plant. about
The story of Ralph (My pet) began in the cold snowy winter of December 2007 in New York
where he was just a tiny seed measureing only about less than one eighth of an inch (3.175 millimeters).
How Ralf got to Uncle Mike, who is an ardent collie (ganja)
smoker, I don't know, but he was aquired, along with some of his fellow seed siblins.
I won't say how Ralpf got here but he is now in a foreign country where he is now (begining of June) a two foot junior (60 centmeters).
In mid winter 2008, and just about the beginning of March Ralph along with the others, were carefully placed in a small flower pot filled with very fertile dirt which was used from the year before to grow one pepper tree, which unfortunately didn't do well. Adequately fed with the liquid of life, (water), in mid march 2008, Ralpf and one other seedling pushed their green appendages from the dark earth on a cold March day to now breathe freely in the warmth of the kitchen where it was intended for him to spend the rest of his life. Both plants were doing fine side by side in the confines of their home, as they stretched like hobos waken from a drunken slumber, leaves softly touching like they were greeting each other and saying "I will not be smoked"; basking in the warmth of the spring sun and swayed in the gentle breeze
as though they were dancing to "tales from the vienna woods" ( A waltz Composed in 1868,by Johann Strauss II).
Then, on one of these sunny days (breeze not so gentle) something tragic happened. I came home and armed with a cup of water to quench their thirst I found one the youngsters laid with it's back broken, snapped like a dried twig stepped on by an elephant.
Ralph survived the onslaught and was rushed out of harms way. Even though he continued to thrive in the confines of his home (the flower pot in the kitchen),
I noticed that his leaves were droopy and not vibrant looking, like a sad child about to erupt in tears. Therefore drastics measures were deployed to rejuvenate this fledgeling. So, a few drops of cow manure
was mixed with the soil and,
on not so windy days,
he was placed gently on the balcony where he can bask in the sun while sway in the soft breeze to the tune of "tales from the vienna woods".
Now (mid July 2008) Ralpf is standing a whopping three feet (1 metre) and is four and a half months old from the day of planting. With healthy leaves and strong body to withstand the force of the wind. So you see,a little bit of bullshit and love for your pet works.
The future of Ralpf is unknown for now, But I know he wont be smoked.
Foot Note
The author of this article does not use "cannabis" "Marijuana", "Collie", "Ganja", "Hemp", "Grass", "Weed", "Herb", "Splif" ,"Dope"(see "Collie" above) "Doobie" "Ses" or "Cushum-peng". Neither does he promote or condone the use of cannabis or any illegal drugs. Effects of smoking weed, includes hallucination among other things. Some say it enhances sexual performance; which I think is a load of horse manure.
It is illegal to Grow marijuana/ganja in most cases except for medicinal purposes.
See History of the Medicinal Use of Marijuana
Stiff Judiciary penalties can be handed down if caught in the act of supplying, dealing, producing, trafficking and possession (with some exceptions which are outside the scope of this story).
I wish there was a law governing Ralpf's legality.
But until then, I guess he'll just have to remain in the confines of his flower pot in the kitchen.
Word of caution
If you have a weed plant as a pet, for heaven's sake do not take it to a pet show.
Ralpf at six months old.
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